


In The Search of Thyself

by rosalineriddle



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 14:14:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10024358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosalineriddle/pseuds/rosalineriddle
Summary: Harry Potter is a lost man after war and decided to find a reason to live and an escape.Daphne Greengrass is a girl that has always been a background Slytherin... Only she wasn't.At some point their paths meet.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written in a very loose form where I focused on key facts and emotions. I kinda wanted to drabble an idea, rather than write a whole great story. Hope you'll enjoy it anyway.

‘It was you, all this time it was you’ he whispered in disbelief. 

She shook her head slowly and sighed. It was her. But not _all_ this time. Just _then_. It was _him_ that was all the time.

Daphne looked into Harry’s eyes and found something she never thought she’d see: it was a feeling, Harry James Potter, after all those years had sparkles in his eyes, just as if he was dwelling a dragon in the fourth grade yet again.

* * *

 

After the battle things had gone all wrong for Harry Potter, he was unable to sleep, he was unable to eat, he was unable to talk to people. He found it exhausting that each day there were thousands of people willing to communicate with him, thinking that he is able to solve any problem, that he is able to fight all the demons. And perhaps he was able to fight most of them, but he was totally unable to fight his own. So after months of hiding from press, people, friends and his own girlfriend, he decided to follow Luna Lovegood’s steps and just run away. Firstly he was just hiding among nature, thinking about his life and who he is. He began to like trying out new spells, he found himself occupied with writing and looking for new methods of self-defence. It kept him distracted from outer world. Later on, after long months of hiding, with money and glory he had, he began to travel around the world and visit magic schools, villages… All the places where there were people who were willing to greet him. He never talked about Voldemort, he never answered questions. He was the one looking for answers.

 

Sometimes he was returning home, to empty Grimmauld Place or to the Burrow. Each time he returned, there was a new surprise: a new relationship, a new family member, a new huge belly, a new death. When he would get owls inviting him to weddings, baby showers or funerals he would usually come and each time was feeling uneasy seeing everyone with their lives figured out while he was there still just in the need of new experience, discoveries and new places…

‘Harry, aren't you ever thinking about going back home for… _Longer_?’ Hermione would often ask him, while feeding her first born. She looked mature, older, chubbier.

‘Since I left Hogwarts, there has never been such place as _home_ for me, Hermione.’

That would shut her for a while.

‘Ginny’s still single and ready to mingle, mate’ Ron would always joke. ‘If you talked to her, apologised. I’m sure she’d…’

And Harry would always wave his hand to shut him. He loved Ginny at some point but now… He wasn't looking for love, he couldn't love somebody when he was unable to love and define himself. He devoted his life to finding who he is.

Anyhow, at some point when he was asked to teach young Australian wizards cast Patronus Spell and stayed there for few weeks teaching them self-defence, he got an owl informing him of upcoming wedding of Ginevra Weasley and Oliver Wood. He shook his head in surprise. When months later Ginny kissed his newly wed husband, Harry was surprised to feel some sort of a deep relief. Ron wasn't happy at all, though.

 

It wasn't that everyone was rushing with babies or something, it was just that Harry was so late. They all were reaching thirty and all needed some stability, it was the right age to settle down. Yet, Harry still felt as if he had nowhere to come back, that there wasn't a place he’d consider a home. The only home he ever had, was Hogwarts but when was it? Now he was travelling, tutoring, teaching wizards when invited, inventing new spells and mostly, discovering himself.

 

It was right after his thirty-second birthday when he returned to England for summer. He was tanned, fit and in rugged clothes. Looking like a handsome hobo. Not that he cared. He found Hermione even more chubby, with a huge belly expecting second baby.

‘It’s a boy!’ she was cheering.

‘Congrats, Mione!’ Harry was trying not to sound fake and looked down at his beer and later at his best mate who looked as if he was accompanying Hermione in her pregnancy. He wanted to make a joke about it but stopped himself. Maybe they weren’t looking as good as ten years ago but they were _happy_.

 

He got an invitation for Seamus and Dean’s upcoming wedding which was to be held in the end of September. He decided to stay and pass the time hanging out with friends, visiting some of them, paying visits at the Ministry, the ones he was supposed to pay months, years ago. They offered him a placement at auror department and he refused yet again.

 

At some point he ended up drinking lonesome coffee at a cafe and feeling beyond uncomfortable, understanding that people _still_ looked upon him. And then _she_ came in.

 

*

 

After Tom Marvolo Riddle graduated Hogwarts and became Voldemort, Slytherins always had it worse. As soon as Daphne Greengrass was sorted to Slytherin, she was regarded as a badass. The girl from house of rebels. She never agreed with it, she was observing those chivalrous Gryffindors such as the Weasley twins, who were making life harder for half of the school and teachers. She thought that if they were Slytherins, they would most probably be expelled. Well… _Justice_. She never liked her Slytherin classmates, too. Not all of them but most (especially Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson), she regarded as arrogant pricks and always thought that with this teasing habit and need of confrontation they would better suit Gryffindor. Slytherins were more elegant after all, they had… _Class_. Like Theodore Nott or Blaise Zabini, she always liked them. After all she dated Theo for so long.

 

And so she’s been living her whole life in Slytherin, being judged and perceived as somebody she is not. Luckily, her sister was a Ravenclaw, so she always had some friends there. And she liked Hufflepuffs too. She just didn't like the Gryffindors for one, simple reason: they hated her house and _her_ for being in it. And Daphne could never accept it because she was proud to be a Slytherin. She was ambitious. She had best grades in potions, DADA and transfiguration, she took alchemy with Theodore and Blaise for fun. Yet nobody knew about it, nobody was allowed to notice. After all, if she was too outstanding she might have been seen as dangerous. With such achievements, she was aiming to study potions or anything of that branch of magic on a Magical University in London, or better… In the USA! Yet, then came the war and everything just began to flop.

 

When the Battle of Hogwarts started and all Slytherins were supposed to leave the Hogwarts’ premises because of stupid Pansy Parkinson, she was beyond mad. She was so pissed off, she wanted to scream and punch girl in the face and tell about all the disgrace she caused to the most dignified house of Slytherin. She knew more about dignity than most of Hogwarts’ students, after all her family was among the twenty-eight sacred wizards’ families. She had purest blood one could imagine. Yet, her parents were people of class, grace, eloquence and various interests in culture and science. They put a great emphasise on Daphne’s etiquette and education as well as they taught her to be open-minded. They never were Voldemort’s followers. They were indifferent and didn't engage in fights. They praised their values and protected their family. And so was Daphne, until…

 

Right after McGonagall’s cruel words, she caught a glance of Harry Potter’s green eyes. There was so much courage in them… There was… She always had a crush on Harry James Potter. She always liked him, he always impressed her. Ever since he fought basilisk in their second year. She was never allowed to have feelings towards him, she was never allowed to smile to him, to catch his beautiful green eyes. She’d be murdered by her Gryffindor classmates and probably laughed at by Harry himself. She was usually quiet, she usually just looked at people and judged them, criticised them in her own head. Harry was the one who said out loud those sarcastic, cynical comments she usually had on the tip of her tongue. She often made them too, but nobody noticed, she was a Slytherin, Slytherins were supposed to be rude, so nobody paid attention. Yet, she was not. She was just sarcastic.

 

So when she saw Harry, she stopped holding Theo’s hand and they exchanged a look. She knew he’ll save his ass and he understood that Daphne Greengrass had just began her quiet rebellion and was about to join the Battle of Hogwarts.

 

*

Harry looked up at the woman that was smiling at him. She was beautiful, she was wearing a light pink silk dress and high heels, she had red lips and a fancy hat, hiding blonde locks beneath it, her eyes were hidden behind muggle sunglasses. Harry was thrilled, he was sure she… Daphne took the glasses off and greeted him.

‘Merlin’s beard! It’s been years… You probably don’t…’

‘Ast… Dolores Greengrass, right?’ he smiled to her, her beauty somehow melted him. He stood up to greet her.

‘It’s Daphne.’

‘Oh… Right… I am…’ he _blushed t_ rying to find words to apologise _._  

‘It’s fine… It’s been years, Mr Potter. And I’ve never made to so many front pages as you did.’

‘It’s Harry, c’mon… And only you did. I saw you just recently, I swear I did…’

‘Well you might have, I’m doing some projects recently… May I join you? The cafe is so crowded and I am craving coffee.’

‘Is that why you talked to me?’

‘Mainly, wouldn't mind your company as well, though’ she was far more flirty than she was planning on but everything about the adult Harry James Potter made her remember what happened almost fifteen years ago. And she found her heart racing as if she was a teen with a crush yet again.

They talked much, they talked about life and places they have been to. They talked about their mutual friends, they talked about magic and muggles. Harry was so happy to meet someone who just like him had passions, was looking for experience, was doing things. And she was doing so much. He read about her few times past month and learned that she was working on a new line of potions that were supposed to heal wounds created by magic, those were first potions to actually work and healed cursed bodies. That’s why it she was a hot topic in magic world. She pointed out that their friend George was able to grow back his ear if he used that potion. How come he met this woman? Like if Fleur, Hermione and Ginny combined into one person and met him. She was too good for him but it didn't stop him from asking her out, on a proper date. 

She asked ‘why should I?’.

‘Because there’s a place you’d love to visit.’

‘Surprise me then, Harry Potter’ she smiled and caressed his cheek.

 

*

Slytherins were gone, Theo was gone. Theo was gone forever and even though it hurt, such was the way of things. Now Daphne knew that she could never keep close to cowards and that she’s not one herself. She didn't join the battle to show off, she was running around the castle but nobody could notice her. She was fighting the Death Eaters, she was helping youngest students. But she did it for herself, she did it because this is what _she_ considered right and went with her morals.

 

When Hagrid brought Harry’s body and everyone thought he was dead, he let out of herself a most tragic groan. She wanted to run and murder each member of the Voldemort’s army one after another. Only she was not supposed to, it wasn't her boyfriend, it wasn't even her friend, it was Harry Potter. Harry Potter was everyone’s as well as nobody’s. The sound she let out, made a lot of people turn around and focus their eyes on her, including Draco. Minutes later, when he was joining Voldemort, he reached her eyes again and asked for company, he was trying to find understanding or forgiveness in her beautiful, turquoise eyes but found none. When Harry woke up, she understood that there is a power in her she never let. With the pain she experienced through those minutes, she for the first time decided to let out all the things she's been hiding, all the hate, pain, power. She fought like a real warrior. People were looking at Slytherin emblem on her robes, she was proud to be wearing emerald that night.

 

At some point she noticed Harry, or rather she was keeping close to him all the time… Like a guardian angel she thought. And when Harry was on his own… She saw a Death Eater trying to curse him. Eventually he did and Gryffindor’s wand fell out of his hand, he was overturned to the ground. Daphne ran to them and cursed Death Eater, she accio-ed Harry’s wand. The Death Eater started to dwell with her instead, Harry was free. She casted first Avada Kedevra at that moment and lost a finger. It was worth it. Nobody ever was told what happened. She harmed people that night. She might have murdered the Death Eater that cursed Harry (she’d never found out because as soon as he fell, she ran away). But she saved life of the Boy Who Lived, or rather the Boy Who She Liked. And that made her able to for the first time, to treat him as equal.

 

*

 

Harry liked that Daphne never asked about past or battle, they never talked about it. He liked that she was a woman who wasn't afraid of him, he liked that she treated him as equal, not as a boy that suffered too much or worse: a superhero. He was impressed by what she achieved and happy to meet somebody who treats him as a guy who asked her out, not as Harry Potter who might be interested in her. He thought that for her, he could have been Merlin and she wouldn't notice.

 

Daphne was in relationships with many boys before, many men. Or rather, she had sexual interference with them. It wasn't that she was actually in relationships, she liked to be single. But Harry was different. Except for the sentiment she had for him, it was so nice that soon, when he gained some confidence and got to know her, he became her real partner. He treated her as equal. He had guts to add sarcastic comments and be cynical whenever he didn't agree with something she said or wanted to tease her. He wasn’t politically correct. He swore a lot and never cared about clothes, he forgot to shave constantly and even Daphne Greengrass, most classy and influential woman in wizarding Britain, was unable to do anything about it. And that made her fall in love with him. Sometimes they would meet in fancy, posh restaurants Daphne adored, they often visited muggle London, too. Sometimes they just spent the days away from city, Harry would take her to places he liked; hidden among Scottish Mountains or Cornish cliffs. She loved that he made her travel with him to those wild places, she began to open up.

 

As the time passed Harry knew that he should move and get back to his travels but even though Dean and Seamus’ wedding was days ago, he still somehow was so afraid that as soon as he mentions that he should leave, everything will pop like a balloon. Daphne felt the same. So they were just looking for things to keep themselves busy and pretended to be working in London while in reality all that kept them there was mutual affection.

 

One day Harry invited her to stay over at Grimmauld Place. He had never done that before, this place was too intimate for an intruder. He cooked her dinner and they drank a lot of wine that night. They both wanted to just go to bed and make love but instead they started a very deep conversation downstairs. Harry opened up about the war for the first time since it ended. For the first time since the moment Voldemort’s corpse lied down, he managed to open up and say what he felt out loud. Daphne listened, she didn't speak much. She was smiling sadly. 

‘I was there, too you know’ she whispered finally.

‘But I thought… All the…’

‘I stayed’ she said seriously. ‘I hate that Slytherins were treated as worse category. I wanted to fight, I wanted to save Hogwarts, I wanted to… Do you remember the moment when a Death Eater cursed you and you lost your wand?’

 

This night was the night of realising things. Firstly, Daphne realised that she will never leave Harry, after seeing all his flaws and still open wounds. Secondly, Harry realised that he is in love with Daphne Greengrass and was unable to say how had it happened. She saved his life twice — during the battle and now, she began to be the reason for him to live. It was weird because both of them weren’t looking for romance or relationship, but now there was no way out. In the morning, Harry greeted her with most messed up hair, sleepy green eyes, breakfast and a kiss.

‘Daphne, if you wish, you may as well stay in here a bit longer’ he said causally, as if it was of no big deal, although for those two free spirits it was a great deal.

She didn't response, she didn't nod, she just looked at him and said.

‘I love you Harry James Potter.’

‘You must be really sleepy to mess up words like that… Was that a yes?’ he teased her.

She smirked and rolled her eyes. She was blushing, she has never said those three words that to anyone. Even Theo.

‘Me too, Greengrass’ he laughed. ‘I love you.’

 

*

 

Daphne glanced at the watch for the hundredth time. How come it was so late? He was never late. Maybe he had to stay some time extra at work? But even if he did… They were going to visit her _family_ , it was a big deal. Her little sister, or rather, the Malfoys were to be there. What was he thinking being so late? Daphne  Greengrass was dating Harry Potter for three years now — they were both happy, both in their mid-thirties and both finally having their lives figured out. Kind of at least. After Harry took job at Hogwarts as defence against the dark arts teacher, Daphne still travelling much, worked in London were she had her potion laboratory. She had Grimmauld Place redecorated and after it’s been of acceptable looks, she moved in to Harry. Yet, he was home mostly only during weekends and lived half of the time in Hogwarts. She didn't mind it, she had her personal space and could develop herself. She was blooming.

 

Harry was pissed off. Where did he put it?! How on Earth even accio wouldn't help him find what he’s looking for?! He was late and knew that Daphne would most probably murder him or what is more in her fashion: silently acknowledge him of his lack of tact and ignore him for three days. Finally he swore few times and grabbed the coat, only to find what he’s been looking for in the pocket. _Fuck_ , fuck, fuck. He took a glimpse of himself in the mirror — he was changed too. He paid more attention to clothing (or rather Daphne forced him into buying some clothes that actually fitted him) what made him look slim and athletic. He was of average height, with black hair, light eyes and bit of tan which was there because of his regular travels. He smiled to his reflection, finally he was able to recognise the body that held his soul, finally he knew who he was. Years of searching for answers paid off, now he felt good in his own skin. It was Daphne who suggested teaching at Hogwarts. She causally mentioned it during breakfast but he knew she was thinking about it for a long time. And she was right. After all, it was Hogwarts that was the first home he had and without it, he could never settle down. He was considered an expert on DADA and Daphne opened his eyes — after all during his travels after war, all he was doing was creating sort of a DADA curriculum and eventually teaching other people. Only he never thought of it that way, never considered it a job, never noticed that he became a teacher, he was just doing what he felt like. Now at Hogwarts he was happy, kids loved him, he had his pal Neville beside, McGonagall was a great headmistress and school was full of life. He could play quidditch sometimes and his friends’ children were about to start school or already there. Also he was the first Gryffindor teacher who actually liked Slytherin students. Daphne made him understand how awfully Slytherins are treated and he learned to communicate with them, remembering his own trauma caused by certain professors. He was as tolerant as possible.

 

Harry knocked on the door, they stood open and he saw Daphne, in an elegant emerald dress, standing with a grimace on her face. She looked both stressed and disappointed. 

Yet, before she was able to say anything, he started to get on one knee. She thought he’s about to buckle his shoe or do anything as irrelevant when she's about to holler at him but instead he started to take something out of his pocket. She shut her mouth.

‘Daphne, you must excuse me but…’ he started, he sounded nervous as hell. If fact, he was nervous as three hells and the Satan, all together. ‘As we’re to visit your family, I thought… Why made them meet _just_ Harry? When they… They could meet your _fiance_?’

She laughed and felt tears reaching her eyes. Harry was terrible in such things, maybe that’s why she loved him?

‘What I’m trying to say is… Will you marry me Daphne Greengrass?’

‘You mean it?!’

‘No, I am on my knee with a ring in my hand because I felt like buckling my shoe… Will you, Daphne? Will you fucking marry me, Harry James Potter’

‘Merlin, Harry yes! Of course!’

 

The Greengrass family was beyond proud that their son-in-law is going to be the Chosen One, mostly because he happened to make their daughter bloom and happy, also because he was a great Hogwarts’ professor which impressed them. The rest of his history was of rather insignificant importance which made Harry like them immediately. Draco Malfoy was beyond surprised when he found out who was Daphne’s secret boyfriend, or rather husband-to-be but the vision of her fighting in the war never truly left his mind. He remembered her devotion, he remembered her scream and he remembered her power. Little did she know that he began to be interested in her sister because the vision of Daphne herself, never truly left his mind. Only he perceived her as a heroine and knew that he stood no chances of any interaction. However, Harry Potter was probably the only man that could keep up with her and vice-versa, Harry Potter was a great man too. Draco understood that.

 

*

 

Hermione looked at Ginny and she smiled. Her bump was already visible. Oliver was chatting with Ron few meters away.

‘It feels weird’ finally Hermione said. ‘It feels weird to see Harry with her, here. I always thought it would be you.’

Ginny laughed.

‘It’s been fifteen years since he left me and I am a married for eight years now and about to deliver a baby. It would be wicked if I was the one there!’

‘I know, maybe that’s what I secretly wanted. So we could all be a family.’

‘But we are and he will also be forever your friend and brother you never had. Truth is, you never liked Daphne because she’s so much like you! If you were in Slytherin you would have been her. But she’s wonderful. She…’

‘It’s not that I don’t…’

And in that very moment the music started to play and Harry took Daphne’s hand and asked for the first dance. Hermione saw something in his eyes when he looked at his newly wed wife that she hadn't for such a long time. He looked younger then, fresher, happier. And Daphne wasn’t a bad person. In fact she was the person that forced Harry into settling down and without her Hermione herself would probably loose Harry. Mr and Mrs Weasley joined in as soon as Daphne’s parents did. They felt as if Harry was their last son to get married and somehow it was like this. Teddy Lupin asked Daphne for a dance, Harry danced with Mrs Weasley. Hermione saw her daughter smiling to Scorpius Malfoy. 

 

It was a nice wedding. 

It was a nice life. 

 

Astoria Malfoy died soon after and Potters were the ones to mostly help both Scorpius and Draco cope with their loss. Harry became Scorpius’ favourite professor and always, when he had a bad day, he’d visit his office and receive chocolate. Daphne made a surprise for Harry and bought them a black dog. They called him ‘Padfoot’. When she got pregnant Harry got so scared that he ran off to Molly and told her how anxious he was. Yet, they became parents of twins. They were best parents one could imagine. Their son was a Slytherin and daughter was a Ravenclaw. 

 

They were sitting in the garden, sipping coffee. Harry swore because he spitted some.

‘Harry, how many…’

‘Fuck, fucking, fuckest…’

‘Harry… I’m pregnant.’

‘I bet this time it’s going to be a Gryffindor.’

‘I bet it is not.’

Of course she was right, their third child was a Hufflepuff.

 

Daphne Greengrass smiled, he did to. It was Harry Potter and he finally, he had someone to whom he could belong.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and waiting for some comments!


End file.
